Laws of Attraction

You are in love with me.

You are scared of messing us up because you know this is important and you have a lot of problems being faithful.

You have spent two years getting flirting and emotional affairs out of your system, making sure I would commit for the long haul. You also wanted to be close to financial stability because you loved me so much you never wanted me to go back to what had been.
You also wanted to build your business so when you finally brought me in to help it was yours and I was just there to spend time with you. You wanted to know that I was not using you.
You took all this time, because you wanted to be sure that I would not walk if the road got bumpy.

When I pushed to get in, when I pleaded for some promise you felt rushed and like I might walk on you.

You forgot how long I had waited, and you saw the casual conversations of uninterested lady friends as the types of slow moving relationships you needed to heal from insecurities and old wounds.

You pushed me out of your life over and over again to make room for them. They were easy, boring, and lacked any spark so your mind always wandered back to me.

You were protecting yourself from heartbreak by not making any genuine connections. Making sure you could not fall in love with them, because your heart secretly belonged to me.

Fearful that my impatient nature would have you lose me to another, you would check in on me to see if I had jumped on the next thing. Every time you did, all the promises I made still stood. You had my heart, my soul, and my body. While I kept myself preoccupied to give you your space, I was always reserved just for you.

You didn't want to let me in only to be robbed (the way I was) of your heart and soul so you insisted that we go as slow as possible to prevent any possible accidents. 

Slowly you would let me back in, pining for me in the mornings, wondering what I was doing during the day, hoping that I was safe at night. Slowly confiding in me, and relearning us as we both evolved and healed

After we would get to a good place, you would cut back our time. (Which was always your mistake) You knew you would not be able to give me the same amount of time a normal man did until we were solid, so you trained me to be grateful for once a week attention, if that.
You trained me to accept disappointment, and to not expect you to keep dates.
I stayed around smiling, because I hoped that one canceled date would lead to another.

You knew you would lose interest in me if I was solely absorbed into you, so you rejected me. You sent me away to get busy, you cultivated a healthy social life so I would do the same. You wanted to be sure I would not just fall to pieces if you needed alone time, so you ran tests.

You knew you were not perfect and your wandering eye would always be caught.
You know that I am too smart to not see you self esteem boosting pursuits of superficial flings, and you feared my temper.
You did not want to be allowed to do this, but you knew you didn't have control. You know what I am capable of, so you pushed me to get help. You pushed me to heal and see doctors, because you were afraid for my own safety as well as yours.
You thought about us having children and you did not want to bring our babies into a hostile home.

You acknowledged only a small portion of my huge perception changes and continue to test me. To push my buttons to make me react! to test to see if the changes I had made were real.
You hurt me to see how I responded, to make sure I was not trying to alpha trick you.
You hurt me to see if I stayed, to make sure my love was real.

Now that Kelly is gone, you feel like you are back at ground zero. You feel like you need to reach some goals and markers before you are "ready" to actually let me in.

You are afraid of my help, because you want yours to only be yours. If it you didn't do it alone it would not count.

You are happy with your new social circle and afraid if you commit to me you will be rejected or lose a chance with someone else if we don't work out. You are afraid they won't like me, or will judge you for loving me.

Eventually you will have some event or trigger that will make you realize that I am too good to give up, and that you can control me (like no one else can). That my unconditional love is not trapping, but freeing. You will let me in little by little, and I will take away your daily stresses one by one over time.

This fairy tale has a happy ending