C'est Evident

At 34, I already have far too many things I wished, worked, and PINED for that I have looked back on and asked myself:

"Really?!" 

These have come in the form of many goals, humans, or material possessions.

• A stupid expensive backpack purse
• MULTIPLE MEN
• YETI Cooler
• Friends....

However the one I feel the worst about, that has the most consistent impact on my daily life was my goal of being "feared"....Really I was just insecure, defenseless, tiny, and without any kind of emotional, financial, or physical safety net.

In my life at this moment I have a female friend I liked very much who thinks I am actively stalking her via an app in her phone.....her stupid IPHONE....a platform and system I know literally nothing about. 

What made me a game changer was a weird perfect storm of parental neglect, intelligence, early immersion in other cultures, my red hair stigmatization, and coming from a lower middle class family that gained access to money....not that I ever saw SHIT. 

Whatever.....I am stalking NO ONE, I don't even watch TV!